Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk

Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!” Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.” Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!” (At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.) Me: “Is there a problem?” Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!” Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–” Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!” Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.” Customer: “What? NO!” Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.” Customer: “Then do it!” (I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.) Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?” Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!” Me: *puts the customer down* Customer: *confused* “… What is it?” (I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.) Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*

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